HELLUVAVIBE • LIFESTYLE • 5 Feb 2021
Another Valentines day is upon us and as we spread the love this month, how about starting right at home with yourself? I want to talk about loving your self.
I am sure that you have encountered numerous people who both professionally and personally tend to put the needs of others before themselves. For many people it is an integral aspect of their DNA whereas some people learn that way of being during their younger years.
In today’s society, people quickly learn how to minimize taking notice of their own feelings in order to take care of their loved ones, kids and or significant other. That can often lead to driving you into fatigue, burnout and maybe even depression.
Where is the love? It is being expended everywhere else. I would go as far as to say that this is potentially dangerous. Imagine That, loving on you so much so that it doesn’t matter what others think or say.
This kind of attitude to oneself produces conscious and unconscious attempts to take care of the self in quick short term ways or ways that are detrimental to our own well-being. These things then replace the good, direct and long-term ways of taking care of ourselves.
You may often try to give gift yourself quick fixes to feel good but the feelings never last long. It can also often upend your ability to attract love as you find that you cannot go without it, and also these things do not create natural good feelings long term.
So we want to spread some love, emphasize and focus on self love also known as putting oneself first; this actually means that we are then of course in a far better position to look after others.
If we are fit, well and happy, we have plenty to spare for others. Putting time and energy into loving yourself is one of the most wonderful investments that you can make.
We want to focus on getting you to love on you. So, Feel all the Feels and be okay with the fact that it is ok.
Ask yourself these 5 questions, What do you like about YOU? What is there to love about YOU?! What Makes YOU happy? What brings YOU joy?
Is there someone in your life that you truly admire or think a lot of? How about someone that you really love? What is it about them that you like or love so much? Stop and have a think about them for a moment. Really think about the reason you like them so much.
I am sure that some of you may have responded with that just my bae/boo “I just do.” Now whether you are consciously aware of it or not, there are more reasons than that. I am positive that you could come up with lists of amazing qualities that you find likeable in others. Have you noticed? Liking someone involves identifying and enjoying certain qualities that you appreciate and think highly of.
This is why we end up liking people that we are unlikely to actually meet but are in the public eye. You can of course respect someone without liking them; liking them is to enjoy them.
This is very similar to the process of liking and loving oneself. Liking and loving comes from having a true sense of self-acceptance; we do not have to be perfect model citizens.
Your love for yourself will increase once you know more about how you function and learning to accept yourself as you are, even if you do have issues or foibles every now and then. Therefore, it is as if this process of being drawn to what makes us human and real shows us to be fallible at times.
If this works between us and other people, surely it can also work inside of ourselves. Actually, it can be a relief to allow ourselves to accept any limitations that we may think we have and even become fond of them, even proud, as long as they are not interfering too much with our lives.
What are the things that you do enjoy about the way you are? At the end of the day, when taking stock of you, you can also take some time to ask your self what you most loved most about you today.
Do include everything, even if it was a small, there are so many things to love about the way you have been today.
To really get your love for self flowing this Valentines day, do this:
Go ahead and make an official list on a piece of paper that has the heading ‘I love myself because…’ Then make another list that begins ‘I love … about myself.’ Of course, you then have to add to those lists. Make a long loving list of things that can show you all the wonderful things you love about your self.
Dig deep and think of the people you like and love the most, and the people who like and love you the most. If they like you or love you, dare to trust that you are actually well worth liking and well worth loving and of course you are worth giving some love to, and then dare to like and love your self as they do.
Go on, I dare you! By the way, you do not have to only allow that love on your self on Valentines day, do it all the time and notice what an amazingly loving Valentines day you’ll have for the rest of your days.
Enjoy loving on yourself this Valentine’s Day, It’s key! Practice loving you first and then everyone else.
That’s right, as of this very Valentines day, you are starting to enjoy being yourself, this is where the love is.
Sis, let’s celebrate and make it all so normal to live in self love no matter what day of the year it is.